I’ve never really wanted to be that parish (or that priest) that thinks that growing our numbers or our facilities is some sort of sign of success or that it’s even a good idea at all, and I’ve been glad that we’ve directed our resources toward other things rather than just self-aggrandizing kinds of “growth” strategies that churches are apt to do.  Even now I’m already pretty annoyed at how much leg work is involved in even considering this, and how distracting it is from our true mission, and from the more important work I’m trying to do.   It’s about salvation & prayer, not a building. On the other hand, providing beautiful and prayer worship in an appropriate and beautiful space, for all who want to participate, has always been for me THE thing we can provide our modern and confused world.  The only reason I’m thinking and praying about it particularly right now is because, even though our space issues have been getting worse for a while, I’ve always kind of thought to myself: if God wants us to move, He’ll have to drop some kind of opportunity on top of me.   So here we are. Sorry!

There’s a lot of back-and-forth in my head about this as I think about it. A sizeable chunk of me wants to have nothing to do with any of this.  Moving & building obviously means spending lots money, and going into debt, a financial crunch, and more chains around our ankles, and no small amount of stress and work to do, and so on.  And shouldn’t we just put up with it and give more money to build homes in Mexico or whatever?   Yes, but I also think, Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh either.

Disagreements and divisions over church building projects are so common that it’s kind of a trope.  The fear of people acting divisively over this sort of thing is perhaps THE main thing that’s kept me from doing anything until now.  What sane person would want their community to be stressed out with Covid and start a building project in the same year?  But, I also think to myself, should fear of having to work out our salvation with each other, painful as it will be, immobilize us?

This seems like an objectively bad time to do this.  But I also don’t think there’s such a thing as a good time either.  The idea that there will always be the next better deal and the less stressful time in the future doesn’t hold much sway with me.  On the other hand, seems like only fools jump on any opportunity that happens to pass by, taking too little time to appreciate their situation.

I would rather stay put.  But it’s the same way I wanted to stay put and not go to seminary. In spite of the luxurious lifestyle it offers, I went to prepare for priesthood because I felt I had to, and that it was my responsibility to do so.

So, if this all falls through for some reason, or we just decide against it, then that’s fine, we’ll get to stay where we are and focus on our spiritual growth.  All the preparation and thinking we’re putting into it now will come in handy when the next opportunity comes along.  We’ll be better mentally and spiritually prepared, and maybe we’ll have set aside some money for it by then.

But it we decide for it, then I think we should all somehow accept it, even if begrudgingly, and find our salvation in the work God has given us to do.

Meanwhile, I think this is worthy of some extra prayer.  Matushka and I are going to pray the Akathist to the Mother of God for extra discernment for the next couple months.  We’re going to do it Tuesday evenings, in case you’d like to do the same thing from your location.  Here is a nice one online, but there might be other translations you like better:

http://www.orthodoxchristian.info/pages/Akathist.htm

Add your ideas in the comments.